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For a fair few years now one of the great things about Xmas has been the expectant 7” Xmas Surprise Package from Michigan’s Flying Bomb records dropping into the racks of the local record emporium. It appears this year they’ve given the idea the sack and decided to collect together all the stars of previous ‘packages’ (with the exception of the White Stripes and the Wildbunch who were pulled last minute by XL Recordings, and who said Scrooge was just fiction) all on one handy little CD to form a sort of ‘the story so far’, and if you love all that garage punk stuff that’s currently kicking around, then each and every one of these choice cuts comes straight from the top of the tree, no fat no wastage, just pure unadulterated kick ass fun.
Due to time and space, again I have to cherry pick, but that’s not to say that each of these featured party goers deserves a write up in their own right. By far the most bludgeoning track comes courtesy of Estrus stars the Mistreaters. Now let’s get one thing straight, the mention of Santa in the title and the closing sound of sleigh bells is as near as your going to get these noise niks getting festive on ‘Santa Stole my Baby’ as they trash it up big time, a truly blinding display of blistering rawk. Equally un-seasonal are the Dirtys, no not those Dirtys who are currently treading the London boards, this lot briefly burnt up the walkways with a few incendric cuts for the late Italy records before calling it a day in 1998. Initially appearing on the first ‘Surprise Package’ way back in 1997, ‘Cocaine Christmas’ is a fiercesome tour de force, unchecked mutilated melodies run riot amid some of the most demented drumming you’ve ever heard to give Christmas a nose bleed. Most uncompromising cut comes from A-Frames whose ‘X.M.A.S.’ sounds like its fallen on the wrong compilation, a truly macabre outing, imagine PIL’s ‘Death Disco’ re-recorded in a slaughterhouse with Norman Bates lurking ominously in the shadows. Getting sentimental, the Real Pills, previously unknown to me, get all mournfully hazy on the spirit of Xmas for some superbly gift wrapped Hammond antics while ‘Sleighmaster’ by Akathla takes several leaves from Slayer’s book of noise to get eerily menacing in the process calling up the dark one to do vocals while the scorched earth policy of the manic Blowtops will ensure you won’t need an open fire to warm the old bag of chestnuts.
And if all this wasn’t enough we’ve not even had a chance to mention the tingling 60’s psychedelic haze of the Dirtbombs with the magnificent ‘My last Christmas’, the Paperbacks, Sagger, Bantam Rooster with the best titled track ‘Let’s just fuck for Xmas’, the awesome Von Bondies with the totally fucked off ‘Ain’t no chimney in the big house’, the Hentchmen sounding quite placid by their own volatile standards, Happy Supply, Rocket 455, MHz and finally and certainly not least the crucial Soledad Brothers. Thoroughly recommended, but then I guess you already gathered that.
MARK BARTON
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